How Allah Makes it Easy for Us to be Consistent.

My last post was on 17th March, and now its already May omggggg i dont even know how should i start writing this post, this is so so awkward. I remember saying this on my really first post that i gonna make a blog post every weekends but i guess being CONSISTENT is not that easy *sigh 

Anyway, i think you already catch a glimpse of what i am going to write today. Its about Consistency.

Think about the time when we are trying to walk for the very first time at the age of maybe two or three years old (?) I guess we dont even remember that time because we were too small enough back then. But i think as we grow older to the age that we are currently now, i guess we can relate that there is a powerful force that makes us keep trying to walk, even if we fall down a hundred times, right ?

That powerful force is consistency. 

Most of us think that consistency is an extremely difficult trait to have, but hey its not! If you think so, think back of that little kid you were once before who is consistently trying over and over again to walk and run until finally, she succeeded. I mean, if that little kid can do it, you also can do it! Besides, if consistency is almost impossible to us human being, why did Allah even created 'consistency' in the first place, and even encouraged us to be the people of consistency if it is really beyond our means?

It might be hard, but its not impossible. 

Being consistent doesnt mean that everything have to be perfect. There will be times when you are too lazy to do something that you've been consistently doing, well that's okay. Thats what a normal being should feel. You are always allowed to slip, to take a rest. That why Allah created us human; not an angel. To allow us to make mistakes. But that doesnt mean that you should always stay there without doing nothing and keep thinking that you are a complete failure. No! Never beat yourself up for too long, you dont deserve it. What you really do deserve is a room for improvement. When you slipped and you feel that you cannot keep going, just think about this: Allah is always so compassionate that He always makes it easy for us to be consistent.

How is it that Allah makes us easy to be consistent? By giving us to choose whatever deed that we want to be consistent in.

"Verily, the most beloved Deed to Allah is that which an individual is the most consistent upon". (Al-Bukhari)

Notice that in this hadith, Rasulullah didnt specifically mention which deed exactly. The key is just to be consistent! Masha Allah, doesnt this shows how sweet and compassionate Allah is towards us. No matter how big or small that deed is, even if it is just the smallest deed like giving a smile to other people, Allah still accept it, and even loves it. He really knows how weak we are, how certain people cannot do the things that other people might be able to do, He also knows that each of us differs. To think of this, i think that Allah really really loves us a lot that He is giving us an immense reward even for the smallest little things as long as we are being consistent. Doesn't this also shows how powerful consistency is?

And by Allah giving us the free will to choose whatever deed that we want to be consistent with, this also teaches us to never compare our journey to everyone. Because human being are never the same, even twins themselves would have their own preferences too. We are always special in our own ways. So if you think that you are being too slow compared to other people, dont freak out! You are having your own journey, so as they. Just enjoy your life journey, and try to get to know yourself more and more because in trying to find deed that we can work on being consistent, we should try to discover ourselves first. Find the thing that makes your heart race and also the thing that makes Allah pleased with you.

Whatever it is, just know that you can do it. You always have Allah with you and remember how big and immense Allah's love for you is for He always makes it easy for you. And on this day, i pray that whatever good things that we are trying to be consistent with, may Allah ease our journey.

The fact that Allah is making it easy for you to be consistent, should motivate you to never give up on yourself. Dont give up on yourself, because Allah never gives up on you.

p/s: This content is credited to Aida Azlin. This is the part of the module in the Consistency class that i am currently joining. :)

another p/s: I guess its late, but Ramadan Kareem to every muslim all over the world. May this Ramadan brings back the goodness in ourselves and may this sacred month become the turning point for us to be a lot more consistent in doing good things insyaAllah.

Im having some reflection-moment here over the things and habits i've been doing, on my schedule so on and so forth, so yeah i dont know when i will be updating my next post. So just pray i will come back sooner hahaha lol. But thank you for always visiting this humble blog. I always appreciate your words on my shoutbox and comments thank you!

Adios.

Fret not, spm leavers !

I begin this post with a huge congratulations to those SPM leavers who got an excellent results in your SPM. And also a huge congratulations to those SPM leavers who might be thinking that your result are not that good as others and thinking that you could have done better. The fact that you are trying with your maximal effort, that's matter.

Recently, I've got a number of Whatsapp from the juniors, worrying about getting into the right university, worrying about scholarship, worrying about what course they will be taking during degree, worrying about what they will become when they graduated from university, worrying about the future. And here comes the idea of writing this post.

Hey SPM leavers, fret not.

Let me tell you a story about myself, about how i ended up taking what i am currently taking right now.

If you were to know me, you could have knew that I am that person who don't have any ambition to begin with. I am just a super determined person who wish to achieve something in life, though I don't even know what is it that I want to achieve. Sometimes I feel like that determination was not even useful for me, but now I realized, it's that determination that brings me here to the place I am right now. I am not saying I am a successful person right now, I am way too far from it but I am currently at a place where my heart is feeling an inner peace, and I am at the place where I am feeling content of what I have today.

When I was eighteen years old, it was the first time I discovered what I really wanted to do with my life. How is it that I know? If it was the thing that make your heart beats faster than usual, it does mean that your heart do have passion for that thing. It was when I first entered a hospital (I've never been to any hospital before haha) I feel super fascinated, my heart skips a beat, I totally felt that I really belong to that place, it was at that time I decided that I want to be a doctor, adding to the fact that I do really love helping people.

I got a good result for  my SPM, alhamdulillah. I continued my study in PASUM (Pusat Asasi Sains University Malaya). Here, it was a complete mess. It was the time where my life turned roller coaster, and it really deviates from what I've planned my life to be. I got a good result during my asasi time, alhamdulillah. And I really wanted to be here in UM, cause I just love everything about UM haha. And the real mess started where students who wanted to pursue medic in UM is required to take an exam called BMAT and passed an interview. I don't know what am I doing, I suddenly felt that I'm not a good enough person to be a doctor. I am becoming so anxious about my future, I kept thinking that I cant do this and I ended up not taking that exam and the even worst part is I made a decision to forget about my dream to be a doctor, just for a reason: I really want to be here in UM.

I changed my ambition, I chose to be a pharmacist because i love anything related to the healthcare. Everything was going smooth, I applied pharmacy UM as my first choice in UPU. And at this point, Allah is testing me. It was so sudden and I could not comprehend what is it happening in my life at that time. It was when UM announced to not offer that course for my batch. I was super heartbroken, I even cried for days because I really thought that there is not future for me (it may sound exaggerating, but this is true)

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If there a thing that I would like you to take from my story, here it goes.

1. Take one thing at time

This is what I did when I got my SPM result; I keep worrying. I worry about what will I become in my 30s when I was just an 18. I mean look, if you keep pushing yourself towards the future will there be any change? No. The earth will still revolve around the sun in the same duration, the time will never get fast forward if we keep thinking about the future. What is it that we are rushing for?

Rushing over things will even make the things worse. You will forget to appreciate the moment you are currently in, and trust me you will not be happy as you keep being anxious about what will come in your next 10 years. I am not saying that we should not have a dream or a goal here, I am saying to take thing slowly. Do it at your own pace. Never compare your life journey with other people, life is not even a competition.

If you are SPM leavers right now, forget about thinking what you where you will work or thinking about salary and all sorts of things. Just think about the next phase you will be facing, which is your pre-university life. Take your time to think about what is it you really want to do. Take one thing at a time, okay? You will be more happier and anxious-free. Trust me.   

2. Go for what you want. Be brave!

Honestly, I really regretted throwing away my dream of becoming a doctor. I regretted myself for not being brave enough to go for things I love. And if there's a thing I can tell to my past self, I wish to tell that I am beautiful and I am a great person. You don't have to become other people's definition of great, just be your own version of great. The things that matter the most is you, not other people. People tend to leave at some time, even your own shadow will also leave you in darkness, but you yourself wont leave yourself.

If you are currently passionate on doing something, go for it. Again, don't compare your life with other people. Everyone have their own worth, and that includes you too. 

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If you are wondering what is it that I am taking right now, I am currently taking Biomedical Science here in University Malaya. I am still pursuing in healthcare in the place that I really wanted to be. For that, I really thanked Allah for still giving me a chance to do the thing I am passionate on. And yeah, the really first thing that I want you to take from this post, is we planned, but Allah is the best planner. It might sounds cliche, but its true. No matter how beautifully you have mapped your future, if Allah doesn't want it to be happen, it won't happen. And here's the lesson that I think Allah wanted to teach me throughout my life journey; is to put Allah first in every decision you are making. When I was in dilemma of making decision, I don't even go to Allah. I was too ego to do istikharah because I think I am the only one who know what's best for me when I'm not. And I am really thankful that Allah put a realization in my heart although it may seems to be late. To me there was never exist a word of 'too late' in going back to Allah as He always accept you anytime, as long as you are sincere in going back to Him.

And even now, I keep hearing people saying that I don't have the future due to the course I am taking, and this course is not even promising, deep in my heart I feel somewhat calm because I know there's a reason why Allah puts me here, and I know something beautiful awaits for me. Ignore all those sounds who are trying to knock you down, believe in Allah cause He created you and He knows best for what he created.

I end this post with one of my favourite ayah in Al-Quran that really keeps me going:

"That man can have nothing except what he strives for" (53:39)
"And the fruit for his striving will soon come in sight" (53:40)

So dear SPM leavers, fret not.

Its going to be tough, but it will be okay.

Adios. :)

Patah

Its going to be a really short post here. Everything is going hectic, I have just recovered from a fever (I have a story about this but maybe I'll tell later), but basically I just couldn't adapt how busier my life is getting day by day, but I will try (read:must) figure out some ways to adapt soon.

Just wanna share a quote that I think I found quite a few number of times recently. 

The quote sound like this 

"Demi menyelamatkanmu dari orang yang salah, Tuhan mematahkan hatimu."

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This is sooo relatable.
I mean, that quote doesn't only apply to human i.e your crush or boyfriend-girlfriend kind of things, but I think it applies to other things as well.

When sometimes you didn't get something you want in your life, and you feel heartbroken, or sad, or in despair, trust me Allah is saving you (maybe the things is even not good in the first place). But trust me, its for the better.

I'm saying this to myself too, as I know I will be going through a lot of heartbreaks in life later on.




Adios.
footnote: Thank you for those who had been visiting this humble blog. I truly appreciate :))

On microscope and small little things

I suppose to write a new entry every Saturday, but I will be going to Pahang for a volunteer work starting this evening until Sunday so I won't be online until then. And here I am, writing a new post today because I don't want to break that consistency of mine; writing blog once a week and i know myself better, if i am to skip writing for a week, that feeling of laziness will grow bigger and bigger. So let us fight that laziness and don't let it stop us from doing things that we are passionate on.

I am currently studying Biomedical Science where we deal with microscope a lot, like every week we will have to meet and greet with the microscope ohh and also not to forget with the bacteria! I remember one of the lecturer here told us on the very first week of semester 1, "microscope will become your new best friend" hahaha i was laughing at this, but yeah I think now slowly I get the meaning.

Handling microscope is not that easy. At first. Honestly, I've never handle microscope with my both own hands during my secondary school and back during foundation, I was never brave enough to touch that microscope, I always ask my friend to do the hands-on while I was just watching from beside hahaha super coward past me, right? But now, every students are provided with a microscope each. WHATTTT? I was suuuper scared at first (not scared, but ashamed of myself actually) because I dont really know how to deal with that thing but luckily, we have a super nice lab technician Kak Wani, who help us teaching how to handle the microscope from the really basic one. Now I am a real pro, thanks to Kak Wani hahaha no just kidding, I am still not in the phase of talking about crush to the microscope. (it means I am not that close enough friend with the microscope)

Handling the microscope is one thing, but here comes the real big deal; drawing the bacteria! It was super hard, I can't even see how the bacteria exactly looks like, and yet I have to draw them hmmmm.

Super awkward drawing, i know right.

Here's a lesson learnt from all these bacteria and microscope. Bacteria is a really small little organisms that we cannot even see with our naked eyes, but do you know they are actually big. They are composed of cells, just like how human beings are though their cells are much more simpler than us. But there is actually a huge working system inside that small little organism. Isn't it amazing? I found it really fascinating. And to be able to see the small bacteria, we have to use a microscope. (Big appreciation goes to Antonie van Leuwenhook for being the founder of microscope) Its not that easy we need a good microscopy skill i.e we need to find a good resolution to view the bacteria clearly, but once we are able to see it, its realllllly beautiful.

Here is one picture I took from the microscope in the previous semester.

I hope the same things goes in our life. I hope we have a microscopic eye so that we are able to see in a big and clear vision on what is behind the very small little things happening in our life.

Behind every little smile.

Behind every little 'Thank you' people said to us

Behind every small little act of kindness in this world.

Because it is not even small. Its a really big and beautiful things if we can see it from a different viewpoint.

I end this post with a hope that we can always appreciate and not neglect all the very small little things that happened in our life. Cause they are actually really beautiful, trust me.

Selafaz Cinta: on Trust and Honesty

I'm not really into watching Malay drama, far away from getting a 'Malay drama syndrome'. This is because I spend most of my time here in university where finding a box of television is even harder than finding ants (my study table was always occupied with ants walking here and there, is it because I am too sweet? okay let's ignore this). And I am not the person who like to watch a drama from the middle; I have this mindset of 'if you don't start it from the really beginning, then why should you start it from the middle?' hahaha it's a really bad mindset that I have to get rid of.

Anyway I am a really bigggggggggg fan of Korean drama. It started when I was in form 3, I guess. I think it was due to hormonal changes haha but honestly, I really prefer watching Korean drama a lot than watching a Malay drama as I really concern a lot on the story line of a drama. I don't really like watching a love story where everything is only about love (there was some Korean drama which are love-based and somehow I found it kinda bit boring) probably because I am single upps okay I am not promoting myself here, don't get the idea wrong. My preference type of drama would be a love story with some mystery thing, I don't even know how to explain this but I think 'While You Were Sleeping' suits best with the definition and I am really into a prosecutor and law-based Korean drama. It was really mind-blown, you should try watching it. And yeah, talking about Korean drama, they all have great osts, i am really a huge fans of Korean osts, high-five if you are like me as well :D

As to compare with Malay drama, I found the story line a little bit typical, (I am not saying all Malay drama is, there are some Malay drama that have a really great story line and great messages behind), but somehow I can really guess how the story goes. It started with two couple marrying (either secara paksa atau secara rela), then there will be some parents objection due to pangkat and harta, and there will be this one person (usually a woman) who is obsessed on getting that one married man (i mean hey girl, there are really a lot of men out there kenapa nak kacau suami orang hmmm) and the interesting part is that woman selalunya akan berkomplot with a guy who want that married woman as well and they will try to destroy this couple's marriage hahaha. And there will be some conflicts here and there, and of being stress, the woman will run away from house (ni memang scene wajib) and then the conflict resolved and at the end the woman got pregnant and they live happily ever after. I'm not blaming any Malay drama here, sometimes Malay drama can get interesting on the conflict part, but it's just me who don't really like that kind of story line, I mean everybody have their own likes and dislikes right? And this makes Korean as my go-to drama when I have some free time.

Okay, lets get back to the main topic here, I guess I am straying too far -,-


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A week ago, I was in my semester break, so I had this time to watch television and as my whole family was watching this one Malay drama called "Selafaz Cinta" and i just don't want to be excluded so I watched it together with them. And guess what I am incredibly really into this drama (though I only watched it from the middle). I don't know what captivated me to this story, probably because the main lead is Saharul Ridzwan (the only one Malay drama that i was into was "Jangan Benci Cintaku" acted by Saharul Ridzwan and Zahirah Macwilson) but this drama really got a place in my heart gituuu.

For those who haven't watched this drama, the story is about a happy married couple, Reza (Saharul Ridzwan) and Jannah (Syatilla Melvin) who once had a really happy family, but suddenly turning topsy-turvy when Reza was found cheating with his ex-lover, Liza (Puteri Aishah). This story is about Reza who is really trying to get back her wife after they got divorced, and there is this one Ustaz Jihad (Aqasha) who is trying to win over Jannah's heart and the story revolves around Jannah's friends who were having some marital issues as well such as lelaki gila talak (I dont know how to say this in english) and lelaki yang suka dera isteri.

For those who have already watch, I know you would scream heartbrokenly remembering the ending (no spoiler alert here), and I was heartbroken even more, as my first class for the new semester coincides with the time where the last episode was aired huhu I didn't managed to watch the last episode together with my family huhu. Even I already know how the story end (though until now I don't have the strength to watch it), but yet I still downloaded the whole drama because I am really into it and thanks to the university super fast wifi, I finished downloading the whole 60 episodes in just a day! And now, i am currently watching this drama every evening as I not the person who study during the evening because it is not good for my brain and this semester I am having a little more free time to relax (read:lazying around) as my schedule is not that really packed, so I think watching an episode or two per day is not wrong right?

The story sound typical (its about lelaki curang) but the conflicts, the way the script was written, the messages behind was suuuuper relatable to our life, thumbs up to the whole production.


Here's to 5 lessons I've learnt by watching Selafaz Cinta

#5 Family love is always there

In this story, Liza is a stubborn girl who really wants to destroy Reza-Jannah marriage for the sake of love and wanting to have rich and wealthy life; and here comes Nurul, Liza's sister who is really trying her best to stop Liza from doing bad things towards other people. In the early episodes, I have the thought that Nurul is a really harsh sister, who always scold Liza all the time, and doesn't even care about her sister but watching throughout the next episodes, I thought it the way around; Nurul is a really kind sister who really loves Liza so much.

People varies in the way of showing their love towards other people i.e some people shows affection by saying "I love you" often, but some people, they just don't! It may be because they don't know how to show their love or its just their way of showing love by not showing it. I was born in a family who never says love-related thingy such as "Saya sayang mak" etc and even saying 'thank you' is hard for us. But I know that the love is always there, I can always feel it even if it is not said by words.

When our family didn't fulfill our request e.g they don't buy us the toys we want, we always thought that we are not being loved and when we are being scolded by our parents for doing something, we always thought that they hate us, but actually its the way around! I always think that family is the system designed by our Creator to protect us and to want the best for us. Whatever they did, trust me it's always for our best. Their scolding, their 'not giving us what we want', there's always good reasons behind it.

I don't know what happens to Liza and Nurul as I am only currently watching till episode 7 (I don't know macammana Liza boleh tetiba hilang haha) but whatever decision that Liza is making, I know there always be Nurul in it.

Because no matter how big our love is towards other people, family love is always there and is always greater.

p/s: I love the scene in episode 7, where Liza said this to Nurul.

"Terima kasih, kak. Betul cakap akak, kalau Liz tengah susah, tengah sakit,

akak sorang je yang ada untuk Liz"

#4 Human being can never be perfect

There are two ustaz character in this story; Ustaz Jihad and Ustaz Faqih; they are siblings. And this Ustaz Jihad is a man who really loves Jannah, and after Jannah and Reza had divorced, he become Jannah's fiance and they are getting married. There was this one scene where Ustaz Jihad get jealous when Jannah was meeting Reza although they had already divorced, and he even always spying on Reza and Jannah and at that time, I heard my father and mother said,

"Apalah, ustaz pun jealous ke sampai nak spy spy orang"
"Ni ustaz moden ni"

At that time, i feel that what my parents are talking really makes sense. I was also thinking that if this how ustaz looks like, should he even be an ustaz in the first place?
Surprisingly, there was this one episode that answers all my question. There was this conversation between Ustaz Faqih and Ustaz Jihad in episode 58, 

" Kadang-kadang abang rasa lucu pulak tengok persepsi masyarakat pada pendakwah,

kadang-kadang diorang ingat pendakwah ni macam maksum pulak"

"Tulah bang kadang-kadang masyarakat tak faham. Itulah tujuan kita berdua ni kan."

I was like Wow, very well said. It's true, seeing how human love to put label on someone or something. Nampak ustaz je baik, nampak pencuri je jahat. Its worst, having this mindset of judging someone without knowing them first. 

Nowadays, see how people define an ustaz is. People always see ustaz as an angel. NO we are not an angel, we are human. We all sin and we sin differently. We are never and we can never be a perfect living creature. What i mean is, we should really stop this labeling kind of thing towards other people. Lets say, if there is a smart person inside the classroom, we always think that 'how is it good to be clever like her' but we don't even know that he/she might be burdened of being a smart person and they too sometimes cry, we never know. So,stop this act of making conclusions on the outer without knowing the inner.

And having said that, this ustaz people, (not just ustaz but other people as well) play a huge responsibilities. If people are having a good expectation on you, then do your best. It is never a waste in trying to be better with the fact in mind that we can never be perfect.

People should expect less.

And the other people should try to be the best.

Its a win-win situation, isn't it.

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I guess its a way too long post, so lets see each other on part 2, shall we?

Adios.  

Brand new start

Assalamualaikum and hello peeps!

I don't know where and how should I start, and I don't really know where exactly this post is going on. But the thing is i am really suuuuuuuuuper excited to write my very first post and there are even butterflies flying all over in my stomach - i know it's exaggerating, but you know, it's real!

It's been almost 2 years since i paused this blogging thingy; I'm not saying I've stopped blogging as there was never a single week in my life that my head did not think about blogging - my every weekends will be filled with the thoughts of blogging again, but at that point, i could say my life sucks. For a brief moment, almost everything was not going well in my life. I've encountered a state of nearly depression; of not being able to adapt my university life, of not having time to revise my lecture notes due to some i-don't-want-to-remember event and I don't even have a laptop to begin with. But my heart was really aching to be back here, to type something and i sometimes even came up with the idea of what i would like to write in this blog when the lecturers are teaching lol.


Okay, forget about all those sad things and now Alhamdulillah, I've already passed the thundery phase of my life.

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What I'm trying to say is in this life, you will be facing a lot of phases; sunny, windy, rainy, thundery - just like how the world has seasons and weathers, so do your life. There will be times where your life will only be filled with heavy rains and thunders rolling here and there, but please never ever blame the world for all the bad days you have because while you were having all these sorts of bad things in your life, there is someone out there who is having a sunny flowery phases in their life. Just like how Selangor might be raining now, Sabah might be having a beautiful sunny day there. So stop being selfish and ignorant, you are sharing this world with others.

What you can do during all those rainy and thundery phases is to pause. Life need a pause. Just like how we cover ourselves with thick blankets and have a deep sleep when it's raining outside, be sure to do the same. Just pause everything you have been doing, take a deep breath and enjoy the smell of the rain. Immerse yourself into the phase that you are in - it is never a mistake for you to grief and cry over sad things for that was why tears are there in the first place.

And when the thunder stopped, lift up your blanket, open the window, go outside and have a brand new start, for a bright sun might be waiting for you.
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Its been hard for me to gather up my strength to write here today, but I am so thankful that I've been surrounded with good souls that are always cheering on me for they are the reasons why I am here right now. I would like to thank these two beautiful girls, Izzah and Fasiihah for your continuous support and for keep asking me "when are you going to update your blog" haha I hope this little short post will make your day.

Its been a super awkward post here, apologize me for the not-so-good English, but I've decided to continue writing in English, (because I am too lazy to think on what kata ganti diri I should be using when I type in Malay) I hope you guys can bear with me. It's gonna be really hard, but i promise it will get better with time, InsyaAllah. I will try to write a new post every Saturday or Sunday, just pray that I will be consistent and passionate to write till the end.


One last word; go for what you love :)


Adios.